醉美綦江

亲自开车三五年才能体会拥有专职司机的美妙享受，很庆幸自己有一个。

我有个哥们姓乐，名小楼，家住重庆市北碚区北温泉街道周家岩村，一名地地道道的重庆崽儿。一看这名字就知道不是从字典里翻出来的，但肯定和唐诗宋词脱不了干系，满满的文艺范儿，可想见伯父伯母的文学艺术修养非同一般。大学宿舍里熄灯后，两人躺在床上谈天说地，细数历史风流人物，每次聊到南唐后主李煜，我就和他开玩笑：“小楼，你应该拜李煜为干爹，你这名字是他起的，你爸妈只不过是在给你起名的日子里想起——小楼昨夜又东风，故国不堪回首月明中，而已。”乐小楼呵呵一笑：“你说错了，我应该拜李煜为干爷爷，拜陆游为干爹——小楼一夜听春雨，深巷明朝卖杏花。风雨恋小楼！”

数年后的某个夜里，我独坐在某条街道某幢楼房某套房子某个房间窗帘阴影里，在李煜那座愁肠百结的小楼中加入几分哀怨，在陆游那座温暖灿烂的小楼中加入几丝凄冷，拼凑出两句鬼气森森的句子“幽窗软帘人影动，小楼夜半起歌声”。夜半三更不睡觉，昏暗的房间里响起如泣如诉的凄惨歌声，一下子让人想起《山村老尸》中楚人美的鬼魂唱着戏曲飘入水潭的情景，好怕怕，都炸毛了。乐小楼身强体健国字脸，阳刚之气如日中天，平日里注重修身养性，经常游山玩水吸收天地灵气，自有神光护体，从来不怕山精水怪，也不避讳魑魅魍魉，不但对我那两句诗里的诡异气息不以为意，反而笑嘻嘻地说到：“没有鬼怪作祟，那是情人在幽会。”

毕业后参加工作，我和乐小楼依然经常聚首，座驾也由当初的自行车，电动车，变成小汽车。骑电动车两个月的时候，乐小楼想买一辆雅马哈，原因是电影《返老还童》中的男主骑着摩托车随风飞驰的画面太令人向往，可就在计划考摩托车驾照的时候，我强拉上他去考小汽车驾照，注意力随即转移到四个轮子上。握上方向盘，乐小楼就多了一句口头禅:“耶，那里风景不错。”我每次打电话找他，开口便问:“在哪个景点打卡？”

不是在旅游景点，就是在去旅游景点的路上。家里那辆陪着乐小楼老爸走南闯北的老迈腾，被乐小楼开出一个月五千公里的辉煌成绩，乐小楼还说：“汽车就像宠物狗，每天都要开出去遛一遛。”经常出去遛弯的小狗心情好，食欲更好，比那些不怎么遛弯的小狗也就多吃几包狗粮，多吃几斤肉。但遛车不一样，零部件磨损厉害，发生故障的机率高，维修成本也高，加之乐小楼很容易在速度与音乐中神驰天外，发生事故的风险大大增加，于是每次出去旅游之前都会给我发信息:"明天出去玩，副驾驶座留给你喔。"

不用自己掌握方向盘的感觉真好，坐副驾驶的我真的是在旅游。目光追随车窗外流动的风景，曼哈顿音响播放着喜欢的音乐，有一句没一句地回应着乐小楼的搞笑段子。愉快，舒适，惬意，把每一个阴天粉刷成灿烂，把每一个晴天演绎成浪漫，把眼睛交给天地万物的感觉真好。

这个周末比较热闹，除了我之外，乐小楼又约了一个学弟一起游玩，姓唐，名国春，来自重庆酉阳县。酉阳桃花源闻名四海，奇山秀水雕琢出小巧玲珑、肤如凝脂的小家碧玉，也把男孩子滋养得聪明俊秀。国春学弟有鼻子有眼，一表人才，活泼淘气，嘴巴会炒豆，还烧得一手好菜。人如其名，国春来了，欢声笑语响起来，便如春风十里，一片花开。国春的爸妈一定很喜欢《北国之春》这首歌，在悠扬婉转的歌声中给儿子起了名字。忍不住要回味一下经典，哼上一段:“亭亭白桦，悠悠碧空，微微南来风，木兰花开山岗上北国的春天，啊，北国的春天已来临。城里不知季节已变换，不知季节已变换，妈妈又在寄来包裹，送来寒衣御严冬。故乡啊故乡我的故乡，何时能回你怀中。”

国春学弟是一名很上进的高速路收费员，在正式上班前的军训中就被教官慧眼识英雄，选为班长，身边经常围着一群粉妆玉琢的小姐姐。众所周知，高速收费站的小姐姐颜值都挺养眼的，有的和明星相比也是有过之而无不及。今天的主要目的就是陪国春学弟去会见两位刚认识不久的小姐姐，车里光棍都很兴奋。为此，国春学弟亲自掏钱，强烈要求乐小楼去洗车店把车子洗得光洁如新，还建议返回家里拿香薰让车厢香起来，气得乐小楼在心里暗骂：“小王八蛋，几辈子没见过女人了。”

“啊，女人，中国的女人猛如虎啊。”乐小楼解释道:“这可不是我说的，是小和尚听老和尚说的:小和尚下山去化斋，老和尚要交代，山下的女人是老虎，见了你千万要躲开。”国春脸泛桃花，春波荡漾，眼中女孩都是秀色可餐，泼辣悍妇也是千娇百媚，急忙分辨道:“綦江妹儿乖得很，今天要见那两个同事知书达理，声音很嗲，很好耍。”

一方水土养一方人，青山秀水出良人，反之则是邪恶的土地上绽放邪恶的花朵。綦江曾称夜郎溪，南齐时称棘溪，元代又称南江，因为“江发源夜郎，作苍帛色，故名綦”，发源于乌蒙山西北麓贵州省遵义市桐梓县北大娄山系，流经重庆市綦江区，于江津区仁沱镇顺江村汇入长江。梅雨时节水漫堤岸，枯水时期清波淼淼，两岸青山四季常绿，多名胜古迹。

随着城镇化的不断推进，全国各地的美女都以肤白貌美大长腿，前凸后翘小蛮腰为标准，是为大同；地理差异导致不一样的人文特点，养成不同的群体性格，有的性烈如火，有的柔情似水，同样美丽的皮囊之下装着千差万别的灵魂，便是小异。有数千年人文历史的綦江城同样盛产美女，他们婷婷玉立，娇俏可人，性情却因身处火炉而火辣外向，豪爽耿直。

心里惦念北碚静观的腊梅花很久了，之前两次专程前往观赏，都因错过花期而白跑一趟，原计划今天要第三次前往，还准备挖一颗腊梅花苗回来种，不料竟被乐小楼和唐国春带到綦江来，势必要将重庆南大门的世外风光一睹为快。

下午一点多从北碚出发，礼拜天的高速路出城方向格外顺畅，跟着导航到达第一个女孩居住的小区楼下，国春同学一直在琢磨去哪里消遣，对着乐小楼自言自语：“去哪里玩呢？去一个有山有水，清静的地方，人会比较放松，更利于沟通，是不？”接着又安排起行程来：“先去找一个地方逛一下，等军嫂和站长下班，再一起吃个饭。”乐小楼把头转向窗外吐烟雾，回过脸说了一句：“今天我是司机，你是领导，听领导安排。”

十分钟后，女孩姗姗来迟。一件卡其色羽绒服出现在副驾驶车窗外，我赶紧打招呼：“嗨，你好。”国春学弟侧脸一看，赶紧蹿下车迎接，把女孩招呼进车内。长发披肩瓜子脸，身材高挑修长，看不出化妆的痕迹，流露出清水出芙蓉的自然美，一双杏仁眼清澈明亮，上下眼皮还残留几分在收费站上夜班的疲惫。挺文静的一个女孩子。国春同学的嘴巴开始炒豆了，先给女孩做介绍：“这两位是我学长，他叫乐小楼，他叫徐于渝，就叫他老徐嘛。”接着又介绍女孩：“这是我们同事小张！”乐小楼把脸向后座侧一下，很友好地回应：“你好！”我赶紧附和说：“你好，你好”，心里却对国春学弟叫我“老徐”不高兴：“这小王八蛋，学长我历经风雨，归来仍是少年，小刘海遮住额头的时候，路上遇到大爷还问我读高几呢。更气人的是出发之前，国春学弟居然嫌我头发长，整个人看起来不精神，怕带出去砸了面子，还想带我去剪头。哈哈，这小王八蛋，又不是我和乐小楼要泡妞，又让洗车，又让剪头，也不怕我俩形象太好抢了他主角的风头，幼稚。”我和乐小楼就是两片绿叶，衬托着国春学弟这朵大红花，还要给他当司机，营造氛围。

在聊到去哪里游玩的时候，张妹儿开口了，声音好似泉水叮咚，婉转清脆，中间夹杂着很本土的綦江方言，又如同涓涓细流，在炎炎夏日里给人一股甘冽的感觉，她说：“我们切鸡公嘴耍嘛，那点儿风景黑不错，上面还有个庙。”听听，坚决果断，多有主见，独立个性一下子体现出来。国春学弟首先赞成，随即和她谈起工作方面的点点滴滴，愉快地深入交流去了。

乐小楼在百度导航里输入鸡公嘴，一脚油门朝山上冲去，蜿蜒曲折的陡峭山路，开起来如同QQ飞车，刺激万分。这鸡公嘴是古剑山的最高峰，传说是因为住在半山腰的一个鸡仙娘娘偷吃了王母娘娘种在古剑山上的蟠桃，一气之下就把她变成了一块巨石，这块巨石形状像只鸡，从铁拐李成仙的时候就站立到现在，后来人们都把古剑山的最高峰叫成了“鸡公嘴”。如今的古剑山已经被打造成4A级景区，沥青路直达山顶，寺庙道观被翻修一新，山上原住民就地办起农家乐，成为夏天里广受市民朋友欢迎的避暑胜地。

把车停在停车场，抬头一望，那山确实像一只昂首啼叫的雄鸡，苍白险峻的石头撑起躯体，繁盛茂密的树木恰似羽毛，鸡翅膀根部的背上，露出寺庙屋檐一角。几人沿着台阶边走边聊，向那鸡公嘴慢慢爬去，没过多久便气喘吁吁，额头上渗出细密的汗珠，冬天的冷风更觉清爽。和张妹儿聊得热火朝天的国春学弟精神抖擞，最为兴奋。没走多远，便被告知景区正在施工，攀登鸡公嘴的道路已经封闭，只得站在门楼前望山兴叹，感慨今日无缘。

看看时间，已经下午五点多，张妹儿的外公打电话叫她回去吃晚饭，从江里钓上来的小鱼儿已经被炖成一锅鲜美鱼汤，就等着这乖巧懂事的外孙女回去大快朵颐。张妹儿也挺懂事的，感念外公大老远跑来给自己炖鱼汤，必须赶回去陪老人家吃一顿饭，众人便打道回府。约好饭后送外公出门，再来找大家一起玩。

在送张妹儿回去的路上，国春学弟又联系了站长兵哥哥，兵哥哥答应从重庆北站坐高铁来綦江赴宴；联系军嫂，军嫂已经下班，并乘坐交通车回到家里。张妹儿熟悉路线，便建议顺路过去接军嫂一同前往她家小区，车库可以免费停车一小时，等她喝过外公精心烹调的鱼汤后就下楼找我们。

乐小楼小心翼翼地把车停在军嫂旁边，在DVD里切换歌曲，调出一首抖音网红歌曲——《起风了》，还不错，大家都喜欢听。老迈腾小汽车底盘低，坐在车里平眼去望站在车边的人，只能看到下半身，我看到一件纯白色长款羽绒服。国春学弟欢天喜地下车，热情招呼军嫂在后排落座，再次把我和乐小楼介绍一遍。军嫂的声音很有个性，是曾经一度风靡全网的烟熏嗓，抖音网红歌手"M哥"用烟熏嗓唱那首《我的将军啊》，视频点赞两千多万，红得一塌糊涂，人美歌美，成为万千死肥宅的梦中情人。当我的眼睛从后视镜中撞上军嫂那张鹅蛋脸，感觉自己被震了一下，这么年轻漂亮的女孩子怎么会有一双勾魂夺魄的眼睛，里面装满了故事，那独特的烟熏嗓更添几分阅尽人间冷暖的沧桑感。这是一个大大咧咧，洒脱自在，火辣外向，豪爽耿直的女孩子，更是一个见多识广，通情达理，喜欢打麻将的女孩子。她的男朋友属于南部战区的陆军，部队驻扎在云南，打麻将只是为了减轻思念的折磨吧！只可惜我不会打麻将，要不然真的很想和她搓几盘。

华灯初放，在来来往往的车流中穿城而过，车内欢声笑语，车外街灯温暖着这座小城的冬天。在一座桥头，张妹儿指着对面的山脊介绍道：“我老家就在那上面，那里有一个观景平台，可以俯瞰綦江县城全景。”若不是赶时间，乐小楼真的把车开往那座高高挺拔的山梁上去了。

在车库等张妹儿的时候，军嫂蹲在地上嗑南瓜籽，那与生俱来的随性与洒脱无处不在，国春学弟便站在一旁和她愉快聊天，商量好了，晚饭吃云南野生菌汤锅。张妹儿从楼上下来以后，国春学弟收到那站长兵哥哥发来的信息，被告知将在晚上七点半到达綦江东站。乐小楼一算时间，考虑到堵车，立即出发赶过去正好。

发动机一响，油门一踩，音乐响起来，乐小楼操纵着老迈腾在川流不息的街道上灵活走位，因为不远，张妹儿和军嫂就是这綦江城里的两份活地图，在后座指挥着乐小楼迎风飞驰。眨眼的工夫便来到孟家园小区附近，开车大神的悲剧突然发生。当时的我正坐在副驾欣赏綦江城的街景，也看到同一车道上走在前面的小电动车，乐小楼习惯性地变到左手边车道，不料小电动车突然往左手边的路口里左拐，刹车已然来不及，只见乐小楼出自本能反应往左手边猛打方向避让，右后视镜还是与小电动车发生擦挂，车里两男两女被吓得惊呼不断，国春学弟叹着气，埋怨乐小楼：“哎，你急刹一脚嘛····”张妹儿和军嫂正聊得高兴，还没整明白是怎么一回事呢，只知道发生车祸了。乐小楼心里咯噔一下，反应过来后立即停车，打起事故应急灯，几人一起下车查看情况。只见握着电动车把手的阿姨连人带车倒在马路上，我和乐小楼、国春学弟一起走过去关切询问：“嬢嬢，伤着没有？有没有哪里不舒服？”见阿姨说话清楚，看不出有什么明显伤害，三人赶紧把她搀扶起来，阿姨动动手，扭扭腰，咕哝着说到：“手杆（臂）有点不舒服，怕要去医院检查一下。”一听要去医院，乐小楼便对私了不报任何希望，前后左右现场拍照，把人和车挪到路边，赶紧打电话报警，又报保险。

五六分钟过后，一辆皮卡警车开过来，从车上下来两个身材魁梧的兵哥哥，简单询问之后，扣押乐小楼的行驶证和驾驶证，又把那位阿姨的身份证拍照，甩下一句：“等哈到交警队处理”，随即赶往下一个事故现场了。张妹儿和军嫂这下倒是把事情搞明白了，见那阿姨没什么事，偏偏要装腔作势说自己不舒服，口口声声说自己没钱去医院，火爆脾气一下上来了，便催促乐小楼：“走，快走，这个嬢嬢安抚不得，隔哈儿她要倚老卖老，我们快去交警队。”

车祸猛如虎，所幸人无事呐！到了交警队，值班的同志调出车祸现场视频，分析事故原因是电动车不按照最右边车道行驶，在四车道的路面上，她从左边第二车道直接跨过左边第一车道向左拐弯，还不观察后边车辆情况，一下子擦挂上乐小楼的老迈腾。老迈腾若能开口说话，它一定会喊疼，会叫委屈！电动车阿姨承担此次事故的全部责任，乐小楼无责任，但是根据国家保险法的相关规定，乐小楼的车险公司可以给阿姨最高1800元的无责赔付！阿姨只需去县级以上医院体检，拿着单据去找保险公司报账即可，等于是做了一次免费体检。三天后，阿姨去医院体检花费70元，保险公司赔付了她500元，这算不算是天上掉馅饼呢，乐小楼一声苦笑：哈哈！

站长兵哥哥打车到交警队与众人碰头，在等待交警同志出具事故认定书的时候，乐小楼掏出一根烟递过去：“哎呀，班长好，第一次见面就把你搞到交警队来了，实在尴尬得很。”当初在新疆服役的兵哥哥爽朗一笑：“哈哈，说呢些。”

事故处理完，几人才赶到事先预定好的汤锅店吃汤锅。那店位于綦江铜锣湾广场，停车免费， 环境不错，味道也还将就，就是车库有点不好进。车库只有一个进出口，偏偏进出口的位置是一个九十度拐弯的陡坡，上了坡顶右拐九十度进车库。因为不熟悉路线，乐小楼还以为要一直往上爬坡，于是依然用二档同时猛踩油门，眼看就要上去却突然听张妹儿喊一声：“到了，右边。”乐小楼油门一松，眼看要熄火，赶紧踩离合踩刹车挂一档，陡坡起步，半离合的时候猛踩油门，一股刺鼻的焦臭味涌入车厢，国春学弟嚷嚷着喊：“快开窗。”乐小楼赶紧松开离合踏板，继续轰油，老迈腾一下窜上去，张妹儿再来一声惊呼：“啊···”，乐小楼看到车灯前的路面上横着一排水泥墩，如同丧门星把路阻断了，赶紧把离合踩到底，一脚急刹车停下。观察清楚车库进出口后才缓慢掉头，慢慢驶入。

进了饭店，已经过了用餐高峰时段，宽敞明亮的厅堂里散坐着三四桌客人。张妹儿和军嫂图一片清静，便选择角落里远离落地窗的桌子，入座以后才看得真切，唇红齿白的张妹儿挺可爱，嘟起嘴来还有点奶萌奶萌，挺耐看的；军嫂和那高圆圆倒有几分相似，言谈举止一如江湖侠女。菜上齐以后，除了司机乐小楼，三个精神小伙一人一瓶江小白，兑着红牛喝，国春学弟和站长兵哥哥酒量如斗，后面又加半斤江小白，最后一杯的时候直接干了，确实喝得豪迈。这一顿饭吃了两个多小时，离店的时候已是夜里十一点多。

乐小楼滴酒未沾，全神贯注开车，送张妹儿到达小区以后，起步的时候发现挂不上档，心想完犊子了，肯定是离合器冒烟的时候被磨坏了。乐小楼很淡定，抱着侥幸心理一次次尝试，没挂上一档，却挂上二档，只得用二档起步，二档行驶，直到把军嫂送到家。紧接着便上了高速，一边开车一边祈祷:“小抖，坚持住，只有八十公里而已。”在乐小楼的神操作下，四个精神小伙安全下了高速，并把站长兵哥哥送回渝中区的家中。兵哥哥刚下车，关上车门，国春学弟酒劲涌上来，压制不住肚子里翻江搅海，便在后座狂吐不止，气得乐小楼差点就要爆粗口。

当老迈腾最后一次因为导航导错路而停下来的时候，它是真的停下来了，不管乐小楼多么努力尝试，它始终趴窝，趴在沙坪坝区某条滨江路桥梁下的一个斜坡上，就如同一匹忠诚的老马为主人用尽最后一丝力气，只能卧槽等死。最后，乐小楼给保险公司打电话，叫了一辆拖车，连人带车拖回北碚。一看时间，凌晨四点多。

今天，是乐小楼出门前没有查阅老黄历的一天！

徐于渝

2022年1月17日

"Drunk Qijiang"

I can only experience the wonderful enjoyment of having a full-time driver after driving for three or five years. I'm glad I have one.

I have a buddy named Le, Xiaolou, who lives in zhoujiayan village, Beiwenquan street, Beibei District, Chongqing. He is a real Chongqing cub. At first glance, I know that the name is not from the dictionary, but it must have something to do with Tang poetry and Song Ci. With a full range of literary and artistic models, I can imagine that my uncle and aunt have extraordinary literary and artistic cultivation. After the lights went out in the university dormitory, they lay in bed talking and counting the historical romantic figures. Every time they talked about the empress Li Yu of the Southern Tang Dynasty, I joked with him: "Xiaolou, you should worship Li Yu as your Godfather. He named you. Your parents just remembered in the day when they named you - Xiaolou had an east wind last night, and my country can't look back on the moon." Le Xiaolou smiled: "you're wrong. I should worship Li Yu as my grandfather and Lu you as my father - Xiaolou listens to the spring rain all night and sells apricot flowers in the deep lane in the Ming Dynasty. Wind and rain love Xiaolou!"

A few years later, one night, I sat alone in the curtain shadow of a street, a building, a house, a room, adding some sadness to Li Yu's sad little building, and adding a few traces of desolation to Luyou's warm and brilliant little building, putting together two ghostly sentences: "the soft curtain of the secluded window moves, and the small building sings in the middle of the night". In the middle of the night, when I didn't sleep at midnight, a sad song sounded in the dark room, which suddenly reminded people of the scene of the beautiful ghost of Chu singing the opera and floating into the pool in the old corpse of the mountain village. I was so afraid that it blew my hair. Le Xiaolou has a strong body, a national character face and a masculine spirit. He pays attention to self-cultivation on weekdays. He often plays in mountains and waters to absorb the aura of heaven and earth. He has his own divine light to protect his body. He has never been afraid of mountain and water monsters, nor does he avoid ghosts and monsters. He not only doesn't think of the strange smell in my two poems, but laughs and says: "there is no sneaking, it's a lover's tryst."

After graduation to work, Le Xiaolou and I still often get together, and the car has changed from the original bicycle and electric car to a car. When riding an electric car for two months, Le Xiaolou wanted to buy a Yamaha. The reason is that the picture of the man riding a motorcycle flying with the wind in the film rejuvenation is so desirable. But when I planned to take the motorcycle driver's license, I forced him to take the car driver's license, and my attention immediately shifted to the four wheels. Holding the steering wheel, Le Xiaolou added a mantra: "Yeah, the scenery there is good." Every time I call him, I ask, "which scenic spot do I punch in?"

Either at the tourist attractions or on the way to the tourist attractions. The old maiteng who accompanied Le Xiaolou's father to the north and South at home was given a brilliant achievement of 5000 kilometers a month by Le Xiaolou. Le Xiaolou also said: "the car is like a pet dog. You have to drive out for a walk every day." Dogs who often go out for a walk are in a good mood and have a better appetite. They eat more bags of dog food and more kilograms of meat than those who don't walk. But walking the car is different. The parts are severely worn, the probability of failure is high, and the maintenance cost is also high. In addition, Le Xiaolou is easy to travel outside the sky in speed and music, and the risk of accidents is greatly increased. Therefore, every time I go out to travel, I will send a message to me: "go out to play tomorrow, and leave the co driver's seat for you."

It feels good not to master the steering wheel by myself. I'm really traveling as a co pilot. Following the scenery flowing outside the car window, Manhattan stereo plays favorite music and responds to the funny jokes of Le Xiaolou sentence by sentence. Happy, comfortable and comfortable, it feels good to paint every cloudy day into brilliance, deduce every sunny day into romance, and give your eyes to all things in heaven and earth.

This weekend is quite lively. In addition to me, Le Xiaolou invited another younger student, surnamed Tang and Guochun, from Youyang County, Chongqing. Youyang peach blossom garden is famous all over the world. The beautiful mountains and waters carve out small jasper with skin like congealed fat, which also nourishes the boys to be smart and handsome. Guochun's younger brother has a nose and eyes. He is a talented person. He is lively and naughty. He can fry beans and cook good dishes. People are like their name. When spring comes, laughter rings, like a spring breeze, a flower blooms. Guochun's parents must like the song "spring of the north" and named their son in the melodious and graceful song. I can't help but relish the classic and hum the last paragraph: "the pavilion, the white birch, the long blue sky, the slight wind from the south, the magnolia flowers bloom, the spring in the north, ah, the spring in the North has come. I don't know that the seasons have changed in the city, I don't know that the seasons have changed, and my mother is sending a package and cold clothes to resist the severe winter. Hometown, hometown, my hometown, when can I return to your arms."

Guochun's younger brother is a very progressive highway toll collector. During the military training before going to work, he was recognized by the instructor as a hero and elected as the monitor. He is often surrounded by a group of little sisters who are made up of powder and jade. As we all know, the appearance of the little sister in the high-speed toll station is very eye-catching, and some are better than the stars. Today's main purpose is to accompany Guochun's younger brother to meet two little sisters who have just met. The singles in the car are very excited. To this end, Guochun's younger brother personally paid for it and strongly asked Le Xiaolou to go to the car wash shop to wash the car as clean as new. He also suggested returning home to get aromatherapy to make the car fragrant. He was so angry that Le Xiaolou secretly scolded in his heart: "little bastard, I haven't seen a woman in my life."

"Ah, women, Chinese women are as fierce as tigers." Le Xiaolou explained: "this is not what I said, but what the little monk heard from the old monk: the little monk goes down the mountain to huazhai. The old monk has to explain that the woman at the foot of the mountain is a tiger. You must avoid when you see you." Guochun's face is full of peach blossoms, and the spring waves are rippling. In his eyes, the girls are beautiful and delicious, and the fierce women are also charming. He quickly distinguished and said, "sister Qijiang is very good. I want to see those two colleagues today. She is knowledgeable and reasonable, and her voice is very sweet and easy to play."

One side of soil and water nourishes one side of people, and green mountains and beautiful waters produce good people. On the contrary, evil flowers bloom on the evil land. Qijiang was once known as Yelang River, Jixi River in the Southern Qi Dynasty, and Nanjiang River in the Yuan Dynasty. Because "the river originates from Yelang and is made of Cang silk, it is named Qi". It originates from Beida Loushan system, Tongzi County, Zunyi City, Guizhou Province, at the north foot of the west of Wumeng. It flows through Qijiang District, Chongqing and joins the Yangtze River in Shunjiang village, Rentuo Town, Jiangjin district. In the rainy season, the water overflows the embankment. In the dry season, there are clear waves. The green mountains on both sides are evergreen all the year round, with many places of interest.

With the continuous advancement of urbanization, beauties all over the country regard skin white, beautiful, long legs, convex front and small waist as the standard, which is for Datong; Geographical differences lead to different humanistic characteristics and develop different group personalities. Some are as hot as fire, some are as tender as water, and the same beautiful skin bag contains thousands of different souls, which is small difference. Qijiang City, which has thousands of years of cultural history, is also rich in beautiful women. They are graceful, beautiful and charming, but their temperament is hot and outgoing, forthright and upright because they are in the stove.

I've been thinking about the Chimonanthus flower in Beibei for a long time. I made a special trip to watch it twice before, but I missed the flowering period for nothing. I originally planned to go for the third time today, and I was going to dig a Chimonanthus flower seedling to plant it. Unexpectedly, it was brought to Qijiang by Le Xiaolou and Tang Guochun, which is bound to see the world scenery of the South Gate of Chongqing.

Starting from Beibei at more than 1 p.m., the expressway out of the city on Sunday is particularly smooth. Following the navigation to the downstairs of the community where the first girl lives, Guochun has been thinking about where to go for recreation. He said to himself to le Xiaolou: "where to play? Go to a place with mountains, water and quiet, people will be more relaxed and more conducive to communication, won't they?" Then he arranged for a trip: "first find a place to visit, wait for the military sister-in-law and the stationmaster to get off work, and then have dinner together." Le Xiaolou turned his head to the window to spit smoke, turned back and said, "today I am the driver, you are the leader, listen to the arrangement of the leader."

Ten minutes later, the girl came late. A khaki down jacket appeared outside the co driver's window. I quickly said, "Hi, hello." Guochun's younger brother looked sideways and hurriedly jumped out of the car to greet the girl and greet her into the car. Long hair, shawl, melon seed face, tall and slender, can't see the traces of makeup, showing the natural beauty of clear water and hibiscus. A pair of almond eyes are clear and bright, and the upper and lower eyelids still have a bit of fatigue on the night shift at the toll station. A very quiet girl. Guochun's mouth began to stir fry beans. First introduce the girl: "these two are my senior students. His name is Le Xiaolou, his name is Xu Yuyu, just call him Lao Xu." Then he introduced the girl: "this is our colleague Xiao Zhang!" Le Xiaolou turned his face to the side of the back seat and responded friendly: "Hello!" I quickly echoed and said, "Hello, hello", In my heart, I was unhappy that my younger brother Guochun called me "Lao Xu": "This little bastard, I've been through the wind and rain, and I'm still a teenager. When the little bangs covered my forehead, I met my uncle on the way and asked me how high I was. What's more irritating is that before I set out, my younger brother Guochun thought my hair was long and I didn't look energetic. I'm afraid I'll lose face and want to take me to have my head cut. Ha ha, this little bastard, it's not me and Le Xiaolou who want to pick up girls , let's wash the car and cut our hair. We're not afraid that our image is too good to steal the limelight of his protagonist. It's childish. " Le Xiaolou and I are two green leaves, setting off the big red flower of Guochun's younger brother. We also want to be his driver and create an atmosphere.

When talking about where to play, Sister Zhang opened her mouth. Her voice was like the Ding Dong of spring water. It was gentle and crisp. It was mixed with a very local Qijiang dialect, and it was like a trickle. It gave people a sweet feeling in the hot summer. She said, "let's cut the cock's mouth and play. The scenery is black. There is a temple on it." Listen, be resolute, be more assertive, and embody your independent personality all at once. Guochun's younger brother first agreed, then talked to her about his work bit by bit and had a pleasant in-depth exchange.

Le Xiaolou enters the cock mouth in Baidu navigation and rushes up the mountain with one foot of the accelerator. The winding steep mountain road is like a QQ flying car, which is very exciting. This cock mouth is the highest peak of Gujian mountain. It is said that a chicken fairy lady living in the middle of the mountain stole the flat peach planted by the queen mother on Gujian mountain. In her anger, she turned her into a huge stone. The shape of this huge stone is like a chicken. She has stood since the iron crutch Li Chengxian. Later, people called the highest peak of Gujian mountain "cock mouth". Today, Gujian mountain has been built into a 4A level scenic spot. The asphalt road leads directly to the top of the mountain. The temples and Taoist temples have been renovated. The aborigines on the mountain have started farmhouse fun on the spot and become a popular summer resort for citizens and friends in summer.

Park the car in the parking lot and look up. The mountain is really like a cockerel crowing. The pale and steep stones prop up the body. The lush trees are like feathers. A corner of the temple eaves is exposed on the back of the root of the chicken wing arm. Several people walked along the steps and chatted. They slowly climbed to the cock's mouth. Before long, they were panting. Fine beads of sweat seeped from their forehead. The cold wind in winter felt more refreshing. Guochun's younger brother, who had a lively conversation with Sister Zhang, was full of energy and most excited. Not far away, he was told that the scenic spot was under construction and the road to climb jigongzui had been closed. He had to stand in front of the gate building, look at the mountain and sigh, lamenting that he had no chance today.

Looking at the time, it was already more than 5 p.m. when Sister Zhang's grandfather called her to go back for dinner, the little fish caught from the river had been stewed into a pot of delicious fish soup, waiting for the clever and sensible granddaughter to go back and eat it. Sister Zhang is also very sensible. She remembers that grandpa came all the way to stew fish soup for herself. She had to go back to have a meal with the old man, so they went home. Make an appointment to send grandpa out after dinner and come back to play with everyone.

On the way to send Sister Zhang back, brother Guochun contacted brother Bing, the stationmaster. Brother Bing promised to take the high-speed railway from Chongqing north station to Qijiang for a banquet; Contact the military sister-in-law. The military sister-in-law has left work and takes the bus home. Sister Zhang was familiar with the route, so she suggested to pick up her sister-in-law and go to her community. The garage can park for one hour free. After she drank the fish soup carefully cooked by her grandfather, she went downstairs to find us.

Love Xiao Lou carefully tidied the car beside the military spouse, switched songs in DVD, and put out a red voice of the jitter network tiktok, which was not bad, but everyone liked to listen. The chassis of the old maiteng car is low. When I sit in the car and look at the people standing by the car, I can only see the lower body. I see a pure white long down jacket. Guochun's younger brother got off happily, warmly greeted his sister-in-law to take a seat in the back, and introduced me and Le Xiaolou again. The brother in a complete mess has a very strong voice. The voice of the smoked voice, tiktok, "M elder brother", who used to be popular in the whole network, sang the song "my general" with smoky voice. The video was praised for about twenty million, and it was red in a mess. When my eyes hit the oval face of my sister-in-law from the rearview mirror, I felt shocked. How could such a young and beautiful girl have a pair of Soul-catching eyes filled with stories, and the unique smoky voice added a sense of the vicissitudes of life in the world. This is a careless, free and easy, hot, outgoing, forthright and upright girl. It is also a well-informed, reasonable girl who likes playing mahjong. Her boyfriend belongs to the army in the southern theater. The troops are stationed in Yunnan. Playing mahjong is just to alleviate the torture of missing! It's a pity that I can't play mahjong, otherwise I really want to rub some plates with her.

When the lanterns were first put on, they walked through the city in the traffic flow. The laughter in the car and the street lights outside the car warmed the winter of the small town. At the head of a bridge, Sister Zhang pointed to the ridge opposite and said, "my hometown is up there. There is a viewing platform that overlooks the panoramic view of Qijiang County." If not in a hurry, Le Xiaolou really drove to the tall and straight ridge.

While waiting for Sister Zhang in the garage, the military sister-in-law squatted on the ground and ate pumpkin seeds. The natural randomness and freedom were everywhere. Guochun's younger brother stood aside and chatted happily with her. After discussion, he had a Yunnan wild mushroom soup pot for dinner. After Sister Zhang came down from upstairs, Guochun received a message from brother Bing, the stationmaster, and was told that he would arrive at Qijiang east station at 7:30 p.m. As soon as Le Xiaolou counted the time, considering the traffic jam, he set out immediately and rushed there.

As soon as the engine rang, the accelerator stepped on, and the music sounded, Le Xiaolou manipulated Lao maiteng to walk flexibly in the flowing street. Because it was not far away, Sister Zhang and Junsao were the two living maps in Qijiang City, directing Le Xiaolou to fly in the wind in the back seat. In the blink of an eye, I came to mengjiayuan community, and the tragedy of driving god suddenly occurred. At that time, I was sitting in the co driver's seat enjoying the street view of Qijiang city. I also saw the small electric vehicle walking in front of me in the same lane. Le Xiaolou habitually changed to the left-hand lane. Unexpectedly, the small electric vehicle suddenly turned left at the intersection on the left, and it was too late to brake. I saw that Le Xiaolou instinctively turned to the left to avoid, and the right rear-view mirror still collided with the small electric vehicle, The two men and two women in the car were frightened and screamed constantly. Guochun's younger brother sighed and complained about Le Xiaolou: "Hey, you're in a hurry to brake... Sister Zhang and her military sister-in-law were talking happily. They didn't fully understand what was going on. They only knew that there was a car accident. Le Xiaolou felt a click in his heart. When he reacted, he stopped immediately, turned on the accident emergency light, and several people got off together to check the situation. I saw my aunt holding the handle of the electric car with her car on the road. I walked over with Le Xiaolou and Guochun's younger brother and asked, "are you hurt? Is there anything uncomfortable?" Seeing that the aunt spoke clearly and couldn't see any obvious harm, the three quickly helped her up. The aunt started, twisted her waist, muttered, "the handle (ARM) is a little uncomfortable. I'm afraid I have to go to the hospital for examination." As soon as he heard that he was going to the hospital, Le Xiaolou didn't report any hope for privacy. He took photos at the scene, moved people and cars to the roadside, called the police and reported insurance.

Five or six minutes later, a pickup truck police car drove over. Two burly soldiers came down from the car. After a simple inquiry, they seized the driving license and driving license of Le Xiaolou, took photos of the aunt's ID card, threw down a sentence: "wait until you get to the traffic police team for treatment", and then rushed to the next accident scene. Sister Zhang and her military sister-in-law understood the matter. Seeing that the aunt had nothing to do, they had to pretend that they were uncomfortable. They said they didn't have money to go to the hospital. When they got angry, they urged Le Xiaolou: "go, go, this person can't be comforted. Every Ha'er, she has to rely on the old and sell the old. Let's go to the traffic police."

The car accident is as fierce as a tiger. Fortunately, no one is doing anything! When she arrived at the traffic police team, the comrade on duty called out the video of the accident scene and analyzed that the cause of the accident was that the electric vehicle did not drive in the rightmost lane. On the four lane road, she directly crossed the first lane on the left from the second lane on the left and turned left. Without observing the situation of the vehicles behind, she wiped and hung up the old maiteng in the Le Xiaolou. If old maiteng could speak, he would cry pain and grievance! The aunt of the electric car bears all the responsibility for the accident, and Le Xiaolou is not responsible. However, according to the relevant provisions of the national insurance law, the car insurance company of Le Xiaolou can give the aunt up to 1800 yuan of irresponsible compensation! Aunt only needs to go to the hospital above the county level for physical examination and go to the insurance company with the documents. It is equivalent to a free physical examination. Three days later, my aunt went to the hospital for a physical examination and spent 70 yuan. The insurance company paid her 500 yuan. Is this a pie from the sky? Le Xiaolou smiled bitterly: ha ha!

Brother Bing, the stationmaster, took a taxi to the traffic police team to meet the people. While waiting for the traffic police comrades to issue the accident identification letter, Le Xiaolou took out a cigarette and handed it to him: "Oh, good monitor, I brought you to the traffic police team at the first meeting. It's really embarrassing." The soldier brother who had served in Xinjiang smiled brightly: "ha ha, say something."

After the accident was handled, several people rushed to the soup pot shop scheduled in advance to eat soup pot. The store is located in Qijiang Causeway Bay Square. The parking is free, the environment is good, and the taste is OK. It's just that the garage is a little difficult to enter. The garage has only one entrance and exit, but the entrance and exit is located on a steep slope with a 90 degree turn. When you go up the top of the slope, turn right and enter the garage 90 degrees. Because he was not familiar with the route, Le Xiaolou thought he was going to climb up the slope all the time, so he still stepped on the accelerator with the second gear at the same time. He was about to go up, but suddenly heard Sister Zhang shout, "here, right." As soon as the accelerator of Le Xiaolou was released, it seemed that it was going to turn off. Quickly step on the clutch, step on the brake and shift to the first gear. Start on a steep slope. When the clutch was half in, step on the accelerator fiercely, and a pungent scorching smell poured into the carriage. Guochun's younger brother shouted, "open the window." Le Xiaolou quickly released the clutch pedal and continued to blow the oil. Lao maiteng rushed up. Sister Zhang screamed again: "ah... Ah". Le Xiaolou saw a row of cement piers across the road in front of the lights, blocking the road like a death star. He stepped on the clutch to the end and stopped with one foot. After observing the entrance and exit of the garage, turn around slowly and drive in slowly.

After entering the hotel, the peak meal time has passed. There are three or four tables in the spacious and bright hall. Zhang mei'er and her military sister-in-law were quiet, so they chose the table far away from the French window in the corner. They didn't see it until they took their seats. Zhang mei'er, with red lips and white teeth, was very cute, and her mouth was a little cute. She was very attractive; The military sister-in-law is somewhat similar to Gao Yuanyuan. She speaks and behaves like a Jianghu chivalrous woman. After the dishes were served, in addition to the driver Le Xiaolou, the three spiritual guys drank a bottle of Jiang Xiaobai against Red Bull. Guochun's younger brother and the stationmaster Bing's brother drank like a bucket, followed by half a kilo of Jiang Xiaobai. They dried it directly at the last cup, and really drank bravely. The meal lasted more than two hours, and it was more than eleven o'clock at night when I left the store.

Le Xiaolou didn't touch the wine. He was absorbed in driving. After sending Sister Zhang to the community, he found that she couldn't get into gear when starting. He thought that the calf was finished. It must have been worn out when the clutch was smoking. Le Xiaolou was very calm. He tried again and again with a fluke mentality. He didn't engage in first gear, but engaged in second gear. He had to start in second gear and drive in second gear until he sent his sister-in-law home. Then he got on the highway and prayed while driving: "little shake, hold on, it's only 80 kilometers." Under the God's operation of Le Xiaolou, four spiritual guys got off the highway safely and sent the stationmaster Bing's brother back to his home in Yuzhong District. As soon as brother Bing got out of the car and closed the door, Guochun's younger brother rushed up with wine. Unable to suppress the tumbling in his stomach, he vomited wildly in the back seat. He was so angry that Yue Xiaolou almost burst into foul language.

When old maiteng stopped for the last time because the navigation led the wrong way, it really stopped. No matter how hard Le Xiaolou tried, it always lay down on a slope under the bridge of a Binjiang Road in Shapingba District, just like a loyal old horse. It could only lie in the trough and die for its master. Finally, Le Xiaolou called the insurance company, called a trailer and dragged it back to Beibei. Look at the time, it's more than four in the morning.

Today is the day when Le Xiaolou didn't check the old yellow calendar before going out!

Xu yuyu

13110273361

2022年1月17日