一滴水，用显微镜看，也是一个大世界

A drop of water, viewed with a microscope, is also a big world

童星出道的贾斯汀·比伯争议不断。最近，他又在Youtube专题纪录片中上线，在最新拍摄的一集《暗黑季》（the Dark Season）中，承认自己从12岁或13岁就开始吸食大麻，后来毒瘾越来越重，让他深陷其中。

Justin Bieber, a child star, is in constant controversy. Recently, he went online in a YouTube documentary. In the latest episode of the dark season, he admitted that he had been smoking marijuana since he was 12 or 13 years old. Later, he became more and more addicted to drugs, which made him deeply involved.

“我决定停下来，因为我觉得自己快死了。”比伯透露，自己一开始吸毒是觉得好玩，类似一种“试验”，没想到“开始真正依赖它了”。

"I decided to stop because I felt like I was dying." Bieber revealed that he thought it was fun to take drugs at first, which was similar to a kind of "experiment", but he didn't expect to "start to really rely on it".

比伯过去曾经含糊地表示，自己曾沉溺于“服用大量毒品”，而在纪录片中，他表示，外界其实根本不清楚他的真实状况有多吓人。

Bieber used to say vaguely that he had been addicted to "taking a lot of drugs". In the documentary, he said that the outside world did not know how frightening his real situation was.

“曾经有一段时间，我吸食紫水(lean)、摇头丸（MDMA）、迷幻蘑菇（shrooms）……什么都来。”比伯列举了一大串毒品名，“对我来说，是一种逃脱。就像这个行业里很多人都会做这样的尝试，我总是站在镜头前，被曝光太多了。”

"There was a time when I used to drink leans, MDMA, shrooms... Everything." Bieber lists a bunch of names for the drug, "for me, it's an escape. It's like a lot of people in this industry will try this. I always stand in front of the camera and get exposed too much. "

比伯曾在社交网络发布长文，讲述由于童星出道、缺乏安全感的童年如何影响了自己成名后的心态。

Bieber once published a long article on the social network about how his childhood, which was due to the appearance of child stars and lack of security, affected his mentality after becoming famous.

父亲杰里米·比伯和母亲帕蒂·马莱特生他的时候，自己都还是十几岁的青少年，两人家境不佳，在他出生后也并没有住在一起。13岁时，比伯自己突然成了超级明星，“金钱、行头、豪车、荣誉、奖项应有尽有了，我却始终感到不满足。”

His father, Jeremy Bieber, and his mother, Patty mallet, were teenagers when they gave birth to him. They were from poor families and did not live together after he was born. At the age of 13, Bieber himself suddenly became a superstar. "Money, clothes, luxury cars, honors and awards are all there, but I'm not satisfied all the time."

比伯觉得，这是因为人们已经“为他做了所有的事情”，以至于他“从来没有学过怎么去负责”。

Bieber thinks that this is because people have "done everything for him", so that he "never learned how to be responsible".

18岁的时候，他写下这样的话：“我在现实生活中没有任何技能，却有数以百万计的美元，可以得到任何我想要的东西。”

When he was 18, he wrote, "I don't have any skills in real life, but I have millions of dollars to get anything I want."

19岁开始，他“搞坏了所有的人际关系”，“我变得怨恨、不尊重女人，经常生气发飙。我和所有爱我的人保持距离，藏在外壳后面疏远他们。”

Since the age of 19, he has "ruined all human relationships" and "I have become resentful, disrespectful and often angry. I keep a distance from all the people who love me, hide behind the shell and alienate them. "

20岁时，比伯因为酒驾、吸毒和超速被捕。迈阿密警方的检验报告披露后，引起了轩然大波。

At the age of 20, Bieber was arrested for drunk driving, drug use and speeding. Miami police inspection report after the disclosure, caused an uproar.

他的朋友们当时非常担心，而粉丝仍然竭力为他开脱。

His friends were very worried at the time, and fans were still trying to excuse him.

比伯承认，当时“人们根本不了解”他的毒瘾问题有多严重。

Bieber admitted that at the time "people had no idea" how serious his addiction problem was.

“我的安保和工作人员会在晚上到房间里，检查我的脉搏。”比伯说，自己当时的疯狂程度，让身边的人都担心他会不知不觉死于吸毒。

"My security and staff will come to my room at night and check my pulse." Bieber said that his madness at that time made people around him worry that he would unconsciously die of drug abuse.

“真是太疯狂了，我每天早上醒来，第一件事就是嗑药，喷出第一口烟雾，才能开始新的一天。”

"It's crazy. The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is to take drugs and blow out the first puff of smoke to start a new day."

深陷其中的比伯，也想过要戒毒，但是自制力薄弱。他的事业也因为沉溺毒品几乎停摆。

Bieber, who is deeply involved in it, also wanted to give up drugs, but his self-control is weak. His career was almost shut down because of drug addiction.

“我基本上每天都对自己说，‘上帝，如果你真实存在，请快让我停下来，我会好好工作的……’但我得到那些药丸之后，就几乎再也没有实际工作过，每天都这么恶性循环，这也是大多数吸毒者的故事。”

"I basically say to myself every day," God, if you really exist, please stop me and I'll work hard... "But after I got those pills, I almost never worked any more. It's a vicious circle every day, which is also the story of most drug users."

“20岁时，我已经犯了你能想到的所有错误，从最受崇拜的人，变成世界上最受嘲笑、批判和仇恨的人。工作、责任、情感、家庭、财务状况、人际关系……一切都不堪重负时，我早上很难起床面对这些麻烦。因为可以预见，又是糟糕的一天，每天都是恐惧和失望的循环，我感到好像永远不能扭转局面了。”

"At the age of 20, I've made all the mistakes you can think of, from the most admired person to the most ridiculed, criticized and hated person in the world. It's hard for me to get up in the morning and face these troubles when I am overwhelmed by work, responsibility, emotion, family, financial situation, interpersonal relationship and so on. Because it's predictable, it's another bad day, every day is a cycle of fear and disappointment, and I feel as if I can never turn the situation around. "

“我越长大，越觉得没有把自己的天赋用在正确的地方。”比伯说。

"The older I grow up, the more I feel like I'm not using my talent in the right place." Bieber said.

比伯的健康医生丹尼尔·阿门透露，此前媒体传出比伯患有抑郁症，其实是误诊。

Daniel Amen, Bieber's health doctor, revealed that the previous media reports that Bieber suffered from depression were actually misdiagnosed.

“他最近停止了吸食毒品，因此焦虑、失眠。我检查他的大脑时，发现他并没有双向人格障碍。”但比伯确实患有莱姆病和严重的慢性单核细胞增多症，这也影响了他的皮肤状况。

"He has recently stopped taking drugs, so he is anxious and sleepless. When I examined his brain, I found that he had no bipolar disorder But Bieber did have Lyme's disease and severe chronic mononucleosis, which also affected his skin condition.

而贾斯汀·比伯的新婚妻子海莉·比伯表示，她是在比伯决定戒毒后才与他在一起的，她认为比伯“不仅比以往任何时候都健康，而且在比以往任何时候都健康的道路上坚持。”

And Justin Bieber's new wife, Haley Bieber, said that she was with Bieber after she decided to give up drugs. She thought Bieber was "not only healthier than ever, but also on the road of being healthier than ever."