琼瑶谈婚恋：灵肉合一最美满 勉强维持婚姻是大错

琼瑶

据台湾媒体报道，风靡华文世界、写下无数经典浪漫爱情故事的作家琼瑶，今年结集65本作品出版大全集，她接受专访时，针对爱情与婚姻提出深刻的剖析，她说，“世界上没有完人，几乎人人都会犯错。”她引用托尔斯泰名言“所有幸福的家庭都是相似的；不幸的家庭，各有各的不幸！”并表示，“当我发现我的婚姻是一个错误，勉强维持一辈子的错误，是更大更大的错误。”

琼瑶（右）与平鑫涛伉俪情深，摄于1994年。

以下是琼瑶接受专访摘要。

问：大家都说你是“爱情教主”，请谈谈最“美满”的爱情？

答：我的小说，写爱情比较注重唯美，注重气氛，相形之下，也是写“精神恋爱’为主。不过，最“美满”的爱情，是先有精神之爱，再有肉体之爱。是“灵肉合一”的爱情。别的动物为了繁殖而交配，只有人类会为了爱情的欢愉而“做爱”。我虽然不会去细写“性”这回事，但是，这是恋爱中很重要的一环。现在的快餐爱情，很多年轻人只追求肉体的快乐，忽略了精神恋爱，我觉得这是最可惜的。如果你拥有“灵肉合一”的爱情，这爱情才会持久；只有“精神之爱”不够，只有“肉体之爱”也不够！

灵肉合一最为美满

问：你曾有小说写“灵肉之爱’吗？

答：哈！写爱情故事，这一部份往往是逃不掉的。可是，我会很技巧的去写。绝对不能写得太露骨。要有“气氛”的写，有“美感”的写，甚至有“诗意”的去写。写到某种程度就可停止，否则就不“琼瑶”了！读者看到那个段落，会有他们的想象空间，会掉进那种氛围里，进入“此时无声胜有声”的境界。

问：你对婚姻的看法？

答：“婚姻制度”和所有“法律”一样，是只有人类才会发明的东西。因为人太容易见异思迁，所以要有“婚姻制度”来保护婚姻。基本上，是保护女性。在民国以前，甚至民国初年，女人都是男人的玩物。“男女平等”这事，到现在都没做到！所以我有很多小说，都在提倡“女性自觉”，和“女性独立”，我不用教条的方式去说，却用故事型态去让人自然接受。我谈婚姻的小说也很多。像是《在水一方》，像是《一帘幽梦》，像是《烟雨蒙蒙》，像是《几度夕阳红》…几乎每本书里，都在讨论婚姻和家庭。

爱情破灭可以离婚

我认为，这世界上没有完人，几乎人人都会犯错。犯错没关系，知错能改才重要。两个相爱的人，可以“结婚”，一旦爱情破灭，可以“离婚”。这样很公平。许多人因爱情而结婚，婚后问题才一一浮现，终于以“离婚”收场。婚姻的破灭，有千千万万种理由。我不讳言，当我发现我的婚姻是一个“错误”的时候，我认为勉强维持一辈子的错误，是“更大更大的错误”，只有离婚，才是正确的办法。也只有离婚，才能给孩子一个没有战争的成长环境。所以，我写了很多婚姻的故事，家庭的故事。我也写了一本《我的故事》，让大家明白，婚姻是什么？托尔斯泰说过：“所有幸福的家庭都是相似的，不幸的家庭，各有各的不幸！”这是一个值得大家深思的问题，不要把不幸的婚姻，盲目的认定谁对谁错，因为你不是婚姻里的当事人，你永远不会知道那些千奇百怪的真相！人，是很复杂的生物。

生像火花死像雪花

问：你未完成的小说《梅花英雄梦》，会继续完成它吗？

答：《梅花英雄梦》本是我为《梅花烙》重拍而写的剧本，当时已经写了45万字。后来因为《梅花烙》被抄袭而停摆。等到鑫涛病了，我经常失眠，那些漫漫长夜，为了转移我的注意力，我把《梅花英雄梦》一点点的写成小说。经过了4年，我的生活因照顾鑫涛和写《雪花飘落之前》而大乱，这部小说至今没有完成。

我最大的心愿，就是把这65本书的全集，顺利的出版，而且要出版得像第一辑同样的精致、脱俗，而高雅。在这65本书出版完毕前，恐怕没有太多的时间去写《梅花英雄梦》。不过，人生总有很多想象不到的事，我说过：“生时愿像火花，燃烧到生命最后一刻！死时愿像雪花，飘然落地，化为尘土！”我现在还活着，还是火花。说不定有一天，我又会狂热的栽进那个“梦”里，把它完成。谁知道呢？

来源：凤凰

Qiong Yao: talk about love and marriage of soul and flesh in one the most happy marriage is barely big mistake

Qiong Yao

According to Taiwan media reports, popular Chinese world, wrote countless classic romantic love story writer Qiong Yao, this year published 65 of the complete works, she accepted the interview, for the love and marriage made profound analysis, she said, "the world is not perfect, almost everyone can make mistakes." She quoted Tolstoy as saying, "all happy families are similar; unfortunate families, each has its own misfortunes." And said, "when I find my marriage is a mistake, a lifetime of mistakes, it's a bigger and bigger mistake."

Qiong Yao (right) and Ping Xintao, a married couple very much in love in 1994.

The following is Qiong Yao receiving an interview summary.

Question: everyone says you are the "love teacher". Please talk about the most "beautiful" love?

Answer: my novel, writing love more emphasis on aestheticism, pay attention to the atmosphere, in contrast, is also to write "spiritual love". However, the most "full" love is the first love of the spirit, and the love of the body. Is the unity of body and soul "of love. Other animals mating for reproduction, only human beings will "make love" for the joy of love. I'm not going to write "sex", but it's a very important part of love. Now the fast food love, a lot of young people only pursue the happiness of the body, ignore the spiritual love, I think this is the most regrettable. If you have a "spirit of" combination of love, this love will endure; only the "spirit of love" is not enough, only the "spirit of love is not enough!

The most perfect unity of body and soul

Q: you have a novel "spirit of love"?

Answer: Ha! In writing love stories, this part is often impossible to escape. But I will be very skillful to write. Absolutely can't write too well. There should be a "atmosphere" writing, "aesthetic" writing, and even "poetic" to write. Write to a certain degree can stop, otherwise not "Qiong Yao"! The reader sees that paragraph, will have their imaginary space, will fall into that kind of atmosphere, enter the realm of "silent victory and sound at this time".

Q: what do you think about marriage?

Answer: "marriage system" is the same as all "law", it is the only thing that human can invent. Because the person is too easy to change, so there must be a "marriage" to protect marriage. Basically, it is the protection of women.  Before the Republic of the Republic of China, even in the early years of the Republic, women were men's playthings. "Equality between men and women" has not been done now! So I have many novels, advocating "women's consciousness" and "women's independence". I don't use dogmatic way to tell, but I use stories to make people naturally accept. I have a lot of stories about marriage. Like "across the water", like "yilianyoumeng", like "misty", like "jiduoxiyanggong"... In almost every book, marriage and family are discussed.

The disillusionment of love can divorce

I think that there are no perfect people in the world, almost everyone can make mistakes. Never mind making mistakes, rectifies it is important. Two people who love each other can "marry", and once the love is disillusioned, they can "divorce". It's fair. Many people marry because of love, the problem of marriage after the emergence of one by one, finally "divorce". There are thousands and thousands of reasons for the disillusionment of marriage. I don't deny that when I find out that my marriage is a mistake, I think it's a bigger mistake to maintain a lifelong mistake. Only divorce is the right way.  Only divorce can give children a growing environment without war. So, I wrote a lot of marriage stories, family stories. I also wrote a Book of my story to make it clear, what is marriage? Tolstoy said, "all happy families are similar, unfortunate families, each has its own misfortunes." This is a worth pondering the question, don't take an unhappy marriage, blind identification of who is right and who is wrong, because you are not in the marriage of the parties, you will never know the truth that all sorts of strange things! People are very complex creatures.

Live like a spark and die like a snowflake

Question: is your unfinished novel, "the dream of plum blossoms", will continue to complete it?

Answer: "this is my hero dream" plum "and" remake for Meihua Luo wrote the script was written 45 words. Later because of the plum flower Burger "has been copied and shut down. When Xin Tao is sick, I often insomnia, those long nights, in order to transfer my attention, I wrote a little bit of a dream of plum blossom into a novel. After 4 years, my life was disorganized by taking care of Xin Tao and writing "the snowflakes before falling". This novel has not been completed so far.

My greatest wish is to publish the complete works of these 65 books, and to publish it as the same exquisite, refined and elegant as the first edition. I'm afraid there is not much time to write the heroic dream of plum blossoms before the 65 books have been published. However, life always has a lot of unimaginable things, I said: "life like a spark, burning to the last moment of life!" Die like snowflakes falling onto the ground to dust!" I'm still alive, or sparks. Maybe one day, I will go into the "dream" craze again, and finish it. Who knows?